So you've moved on?

I was excited to go camping this weekend. I would get to leave my new rapid transit life in New York and return to the mountains and river of my college years for a little spiritual retreat amongst the sage growing wild. But instead i traveled 3000 miles to be super ill and return to my life as a college student with alcohol and local drama instead of mountains and sagebrush.

even though it was nice to see everyone it really made me question how much i have changed since leaving and if i am better for it.
i felt frustrated all weekend. at myself. at my friends. at the town because there is something about it that transforms great people into people with potential. doers into talkers and planners who never actually follow through on their ideas.

it was during this weekend that it struck me; i must have grown up a little more without realizing it. i was so completely finished with this scene. with the talking and not doing. and chatting about what had happened with who. with the drinking and the smoking. i love my old college buddies dearly but i've already left them behind and grown a foot and a half of green branches and leaves.

i'm now more of who i wanted to be then. i wanted to travel so now i travel. i wanted to see and do things that for the past 4 years ive been only thinking about and now i am. i'm more decisive and proactive about what is happening in my life. i'm done with the indecisive, broke, flakey, dreamer that i was and that some of my friends still think i am.

i'm done, i'm gone, i'm already present in tomorrow.